Everybody's A Snowflake ... Really
We dreaded the sticker.
The one we thought might come.
(Well, the one we knew would come. At some point in the school year. Just saying. I mean, you just know, OK?).
And, sure enough, it came.
This is one of those things.
You know, one of those things that seems right in all the easiest ways -- but that when you think it through a little more, it doesn't seem so clear cut.
My wife doesn't care much for these stickers, because 1.) she thinks that so many more kids are terrific and don't get a sticker and 2.) she's so not putting one of those on a minivan.
These present problems to me, too.
But not for the same reasons.
I put the sticker on the bumper of my pick-up truck. I figured that my son got a sticker that recognized him as being terrific. And not every kid gets one of those. And he works hard to make the principal's honor roll and to complete the reading competition and to win the physical fitness award and to rub the shoulders of the mentally impaired boy in class who cries when he gets frustrated.
I know other kids are terrific. But somebody gave me a bumper sticker for the expressed purpose of making it clear that mine is, in fact, by some pseudo-official standard, terrific.
I didn't put it on the bumper because I need to let people know that my kid is terrific. I already know he is, in ways that a bumper sticker can't represent. It's there so that he understands that his parents are saying its OK to feel good about being good.
My problem isn't that I don't think other kids are terrific, because I know there are other terrific kids out there. Nor do I worry about putting a "Terrific Kid" sticker on my minivan, because I'm not the one who has to drive it.
My problem is with people like this:
Who are these people?
There are a million ways to describe them, but let's just say that they're the people whose mothers breast fed them on Haterade instead of milk (which is felony child neglect, by the way).
They probably never got a sticker. And they probably sucked at everything they tried not to fail at.
I don't feel sorry for them. In fact, I've got my own sticker, if I can only find someone to print it:
"My Honor Student Can Kick Your Stupid Kid's Ass."
14 comments:
I can see your point. Your son earned that bumper sticker and I don't see any reason why you shouldn't be proud to put it on your bumper.
Freakin' Haterade. I think they've started putting it in the water supply.
Being a terrific kid was always great, but I have to say that the award may have been a bit racist where I am from. 45/45 black/white, 10% hispanic. For every 10 white kids that got terrific kid, maybe one black kid got it.
Now THAT, my friend, is sad.
that's the potential problem with those things. success has so much to do with the household you come from and all of the societal elements that go into behavior and performance irregardless of ability.
but i make sure my son knows his place in the world and that the most important thing above achievement in sports or academics is how much he loves other people. however, those stickers are in dangerous hands for the people who focus too much on their kid being the bestest in the whole wide world.
my wife takes a good stand. i'm usually the one taking those types of stands. i might have done it for myself, to just let something like that go. and maybe because those other people get on my nerves.
I get annoyed at those hater stickers too. They might as well say "My illiterate kid gets no support whatsoever from his/her parents".
I have never understood why some people choose the bumper stickers they do. Like the one I saw the other day: It's not PMS, it's Y-O-U. Why? Is that really the sentiment a person wants to express? Guess so. And it's their right, but it rubs me the wrong way.
Got a little side-tracked there. If my kid got one of the "my kid is terrific" stickers, damn straight I'd put it on my car, and for the same reason you mentioned: so that my kid understands he should feel good about being good.
They didn't have those stickers when we were kids. And I still grew up believing I'm terrific. I am, you know. I'm terrific as hell.
Uh, oh.
Just hypothetically, let me ask this. If I have a sticker - no, not me, maybe a hypothetical guy named "Joe" has a sticker. And he hasn't put it on his truck, but still it's on his refrigerator, let's say. And it reads:
"My Yellow Lab is Smarter Than Your Honor Role Student."
That's not hate, right? Joe just likes his dog a lot, which is OK, right? Right?
jay ... what you say reminds me of the "OVER-RATED" chant at basketball games when an underdog is beating a favorite. don't they realize how they're undermining their accomplisment?
melissa ... or how about "i'll try to be nice if you try to be smarter."
cindy ... see. that's all you have to do right there. just keep telling yourself that and eventually it'll stick.
nvb ... depends on how smart joe's dog is, i guess, but it sounds like joe is not very bright. ;)
seriously (well, not too seriously, because while i somehow managed to get all psychoanalytical, i just wanted the opportunity to say what kind of holla back sticker i'd come up with) ... i'd say yes and no.
yes, because joe loves his dog at the expense of someone else.
no, because a big problem i have with the kid beating up another kid thing is that you're actually making your kid look like a jackass by default. the dog thing doesn't evoke images of stupid people encouraging stupid kids to be stupid. we've got that on blast here in s.c.
and both are meant to be jokes. one is not funny to me at all (though i'm not so convinced that it's harmful). the other just kind of makes me lift my eyebrows, kind of like when somebody tries to coin a pun.
it comes down to this ... guys like me just want to say we're proud of our kid. what if my 7 year old son read this "beat up your honor roll kid" sticker? he'd ask me what that was all about. and i'd simply tell him, "don't worry about that. they're just mad 'cause they're stupid." great example, i know. but i'm just being honest about what i would actually say.
in general (meaning i'm no longer addressing you) ...
i saw a list of buzz words that are supposed to define a "terrific kid." most of them involve being good people and listening and working hard. that in turn probably means your kid is going to be smart.
my son's teacher has told me she doesn't know what this impaired kid, jacob, will do without my son next year. she says she wants to recommend that they be assigned to the same class, because asa's compassion, attentiveness and empathy has done so much to help this little boy's performance.
think about it: when the kid cries because he stutters and can't understand something and thinks he's stupid ... my son comes over and rubs his shoulders, pats his head or hugs him. he describes his episodes as "sometimes jacob has a hard time."
i go to great lengths to have my son be someone like that in the world. it can be hard to be kind. at the same time, my reaction as a father is to teach him also a little about being mentally tough and having only so much patience for true stupidity.
wow, that sure is a lot to describe a sticker i'd like to see ...
Oh man, for a second there I thought you were getting all serious on me. Because I'll admit, I thought those "My kid can beat up your honor student" stickers were funny the first year they came out. But that was like, what, ten years ago? Your new sticker could revitalize the car sticker market.
but the cycle would never end. we'd have a retalitory sticker ad infinitum.
the next one would say, "no, my kid's not stupid because i have a sticker making fun of your honor student, and my kid is the one who deals out the ass-whoopins."
my next one would say, "sorry, but that's so typical of an insecure hater with a stupid kid."
and on and on ...
From a Mom of an underachiever, and an overachiever-(and a special ed teachers aide)-I hate those stickers.
You actually can have your own sticker printed !
http://www.stickerjunkie.com/index.jsp
Peace
"My kid can teach Joe's old dog new tricks."
Will that make you both happy?
I haven't seen those stickers for the schools my kids go (or will go) to, but I have seen them for schools "over the pass." I would feel obligated to put one earned by my kid(s) on my car for your same reasons - they deserve to shine, and be proud of their accomplishments. Far too much of the forced humility around, I feel. At least, for my own brood of prodigies ;) Don't you just feel a pang of... something special... when you see how empathic your kid can be? Asa's a true friend. You're teaching him something right. A friend of N's got stung by a bee the other day in school. She told me how it's easier to get hurt yourself than to see a friend hurt, because you feel so bad for them; how she wished she had been stung by the bee instead. Now, either that's empathy to bring proud tears to a Mommy's eyes, or it's a a sign of some kinda pathos. I'll go with the former.
Congrats to Asa! See? He still managed excellence even with missing a few days of school.
looks like you've got both bases covered, mitchglib. i would print it up, but i just can't figure out how i'd explain that one to my son.
kz ... that sounds great. now update your blog. ;)
My favorite bumper sticker of all time is..."Envision Whirlled Peas".
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