Sunday, April 22, 2007

Sweet Charity

The American Diabetes Association has been waiting for me to send them the $10 I pledged to them a few months ago.

I feel bad that it took me so long.

I'm happy to do it. After all, I've watched my Grandma inject herself with insulin every morning since I can remember. Much respect for that woman on many levels, particularly the times when she's had to fight through a haze of disorientation -- a widow, all by herself -- to get her sugar back in line when it goes crazy.

But as I lick the self-stamped envelope to seal my check, something really sticks with me.

Why is it that the glue on the envelope has to taste so utterly disgusting? Some envelopes offer just a hint of pleasurable flavor. Just a taste to make the check you're writing go down a little smoother.

Then there are the others. The ones that taste like rotten peanuts. Or like ... glue.

So, as I lick the envelope and beg for a swig of carbonated water to wash the bitter taste down, I can't help but think a thought that evokes at least a hint of irony:

A little sugar would do this envelope good.

Or, at the least, a little taste of Splenda.

7 comments:

Cindy-Lou said...

I always tape envelopes shut. Can't do the licking thing. Not only because of the rotten peanuts part, but I always wonder who touched the envelope at the envelope factory.

captain corky said...

You should try the envelopes over in Wonka's factory. They're scrumdidiliumptious I tell you.

Jay said...

I tape the envelopes too. I don't even want to think about what kinds of germs live there! LOL

Tink said...

I've always wondered that too. I mean, they make flavored condoms! Now THAT was a moronic idea.

Although if they start flavoring the glue they might have less kids sniffing it and more kids eating it.

Rusty said...

I had a slightly darker thought when doing something similar.

I was creating a logo for the 5k run/walk benefit that we are doing. The young girl we are organizing it for has a large brain tumor and is not expected to hold out much longer.

Let me diffuse this first by saying that I felt really bad even THINKING this... but I might as well share my uncomfortable inner thinking.

When looking through the different fonts to put the main heading in, I was scrolling through everything and just trying it out. I noticed a font called 'terminal' looked pretty good.

I think you can figure out the rest.

eric said...

rusty, i know exactly what you mean. seriously, sometimes it's a relief just to share it.

this isn't in the same ballpark, but i made a comment today that i'm not sure went over well.

things have changed at work and everybody is on edge, arguing with each other, feeling anxiety, etc.

one of our most disgruntled staffers wasn't at our weekly meeting this morning. everybody asked where he was and i said, "he's out videotaping his manifesto."

Rusty said...
This comment has been removed by the author.