No Stoner Left Behind
I won't shit you. South Carolina has a long way to go to be known more for its smarts than its looks.
We're like a good-looking chick with no brains. Kind of trashy, but pretty in a way, you guess. The beaches and the mountains and all the trees are good on the eyes. Just don't be surprised if you ask us who wrote, "To be, or not to be?" and we say, "I don't know. Must've been a gay dude."
But let's step back from it all and put it in perspective.
For all the wailing and gnashing of teeth over the state of our education, we're still doing OK.
It's not anywhere near a scientific equation. It's not forward-thinking. It's probably a case study in resigning yourself to low expectations.
But I think that as long as you'd be considered a genius 100 years ago, you're all right.
Society depends on those among us who are content with this.
It's a sad state of affairs when you can't get a management position at the Jack In The Box simply because company policy states you have to have a high school diploma or GED.
But ...
Could you go back to the year 1907 and describe the basic components of a 1984 Chevy S-10 engine to a guy struggling over how to keep the stagecoach wheel from rattling? If you're from South Carolina, you've got a good chance. And I'm sure that even as shitty as a 1984 Chevy S-10 is, it's a lot better than whatever they were putting out in 1907.
Could you use barre chords to play the opening intro to "Iron Man?" Trust me, if you don't already know ... even you can do it.
Could you describe to someone the basic outline of how space and time interrelate? Sure you can. Just think it and be it, man.
OK, maybe you can't (with just a straight-D high school diploma) describe how miniscule pieces of digital data float in the air and reassemble to create a message of text on a piece of flat glass that glows. I graduated from a university, and I can't really explain that with one -- not without retreating to my requesite WiFi-equipped coffee shop and Googling it on a laptop.
But, overall, it'd be hard not to be worshipped as a Man Of Tommorow in 1907 based on a modern-day high school education.
Forget No Child Left Behind, we'll set up a new standard:
Make just enough progress today that it at least keeps pace with each year that passes a century ago.
7 comments:
DAS BOOT!
With the exception of Texas and Mississippi, education levels throughout the South seem to be just about the same. Texas being quite a bit ahead and Miss. being ... well, you know.
Of course, it doesn't help here in Arkansas that a person who actually does well in school and does further his/her education is actually looked down upon.
Did you just watch Idiocracy?
Just thinking about drinking a mug of beer that big makes me want to puke. Oh the memories.
rusty ... what's up, deutchbag? you just opened up a can o' corn.
jay ... i really can't keep up, but i think we're second to last. i think the term is thank god for mississippi.
cindy ... i haven't. should i?
tink ... i agree. oh, the memories. of the night i wrote this ...
Mate you may love Beerfest but Idiocracy is definitely the film for you after reading this damn fine post.
It's more or less exactly what you wrote apart from set with travel into the future rather than the past.
I have no idea how to explain space & time or how computers do what they do - I just know which buttons to press to make things go faster is all.
and how to make tea.
literally.
simon, don't worry. i think you'd qualify as a genius of 1907. i'll have to check that movie out.
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