Warning: (Graphic) Graphic
Oh, boy.
So, this is how South Carolina serves barbeque. At least according to an industry trade association (which is full of what I've experienced as being a bunch of generally nice guys).
Interesting piece of trivia that might one day save you from some sadistic psychopath's torture chamber: South Carolina is the only state in the union that serves the four different flavor bases of barbeque.
For those of you outside the South -- ie. above the Mason-Dixon line, or in Florida -- barbeque here is both a verb and a noun. We eat barbeque. We barbeque things. We barbeque barbeque.
I'm partial to the mustard-based. To say that publicly is to risk inciting a culture war. We're territorial as shit down here.
As you can see, the graphic illustrates these differences -- and how liking mustard-based barbeque can be seen as a more ... volatile ... choice:
Notice how the mustard-based barbeque is overtly aggressive, thrusting itself through the vinegar base and between the softer-toned tomato and light-tomato bases. Truly exerting its dominance, creating a wedge between the two tomato flavors and stamping out any possibility of compromise.
Like ... a ... well ...
I showed this graphic to my boss, a woman nearly double my age and one of the most motherly kinds of people you'll meet.
I was talking about how interesting I thought this was. All four bases! Praise be to Allah!
And then it hit me. I started laughing. And couldn't stop -- even though I wanted nothing more than to be able to stop. Then she started laughing. That made me even more uncomfortable. The more she laughed, the more I laughed, the more I wanted it all to be over so I could give in to the all-overs and shake off my embarrassment.
Then, she stopped chuckling and took a breath.
"Yeah, that's funny. It looks like a hurricane."
Umm ... yeah ... that's what I was thinking, too.
17 comments:
Mustard for pork, tomato for beef.
Simple. isn't it
duckie ... you think? i guess i see a hurricane cone, too, but that wasnt' the first thing to come to mind.
tom, i lived in sandy run (near where you got off 26 at dixiana) and went to school for one year in st. matthews. i would suggest that you can show her the graphic, just not with my 7th grade way of looking at it.
john ... i hear what you're saying, but honestly i don't know whether your making another joke or not. ;)
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I think that's funny. You guys were totally laughing at different things. Or maybe she was laughing at the same thing you were, but didn't want to admit it. Old ladies can be pervs too.
I think if they started using that as advertisement South Carolina would become VERY popular.
Oh sure, people who live in a state where the state team is referred to as "the cocks" would see something other than a hurricane cone there.
cindy ... so you know a little about that, hunh?
(just picking on you because i know we're about the same age).
tink, i thought you might take issue with the florida comment. i'm always curious if it bothers floridians that no one considers them southern. or, wait, maybe that's not such a great thing to be when you look at the stats.
jay, what can i say ... we have a name crisis. but it does make for interesting t-shirts ... "you can't lick our cocks" ... and when the real USC played southern cal "your trojans can't cover our cocks."
you know, we won the last meeting of the USC's. just a bit of trivia.
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i'm with cindy-lou. happen your boss was just humouring you.
I really do want to end up living in a place that barbecues on a regular basis.
Chicken on a grill, steaks sizzling... damn.
dan, i would say you could be right ... but she's really cool enough that i think she'd be OK saying she saw the same thing. actually, i was kind of surprised she wasn't seeing the edgier side of it.
simon, you'd enjoy it. a large part of our culture revolves around it. you can smell smoke all around when we tailgate before our college (american) football games. and at the races. grill smoke mixed with weed smoke.
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I had no idea SC had all 4 types of BBQ. There should be a few little drops of yellow tossed into the piedmont of NC as well...for both effect and to be correct.
I have to admit I'm a vinegar based guy myself.
you're right. it is a little too cut and dry. i'm not sure, but i might actually like mustard/vinegar base.
all i know is ... hash is da bomb!
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Oh man, fuck that.
Vinegar based is where its at. Anything else is just.... wrong.
Barbeque is important to us Texans as well. I think we're pretty much vinegar based or mildy tomato based. Any kind of barbeque is fine with me though!
vinegar ... yes, it's good. looks like that map is all wrong, seeing how many people like vinegar-based and it's supposed to be a coastal thing.
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I'm partial to the mustard-based.
Of course, "mustard based" covers a lot of territory. There's Maurice's yellow-mustard style (usually the meat is served soaked in the mustard sauce, and extra mustard sauce is provided), and there's also the milder, more orange mustard style that's more common around Orangeburg (Dukes BBQ, Lone Star, Antley's - where the meat is served dry and the sauce is provided for you to add. Very different flavors.
I'll still maintain that you can't get good BBQ in the Upstate, though that may just be my own personal bias. :)
so provincial.
no wonder we can never climb out of the civil war era. :)
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I'm from Georgia and have only had mustard-based barbecue on a handful of occasions, but I'm with you: it's the best.
Now, I just need to find somewhere around here that does decent barbecue. There's one place that does Brunswick stew pretty well, but nobody that does the MEAT well.
Crap.
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