Wake Up, Baby Boy, You're On The Grid
The break of day never was the most-reassuring time for you, was it son?
You called "Da-DEE" over and over and over from your crib as your lazy, undisciplined father resisted the waking world with impunity.
You drooled into your applesauce as you watched PBS strapped into a high chair while your father slept on the couch.
You crawled on the hardwood floor to pat your father on the chest as he lay sprawled on the carpet with back spasms for days.
You had barely learned to speak when you were dribbling a basketball and dunking it on the little goal, while your father halfway opened his eyes to say "good job, son."
When your baby brother came along, there you were to set up the Playstation 2 so he could watch "Thomas The Tank Engine" as you politely told him to stop screaming at you.
And you put his shoes and socks on him.
After you finally elbow dropped your father and punched him in the face, he'd wake up, hand you a lukewarm waffle and get you to preschool 15 minutes late.
Tomorrow, on your first day of kindergarten and every work day that follows, you won't be here to be a crutch.
Your clothes are set out next to a baby picture in your room and tomorrow you will wake up with your Mom, at a decidedly earlier hour, as you will do every school day.
Tomorrow, you walk into the halls of the education branch of the Ministry of Truth and take your place on the grid and the kindergarten midday nap mat.
In the days to come, as you meander past this slumbering slab of meat each morning and wonder how your brother will survive without you, don't worry.
He will.
Promise that.
Really.
P.S. Just remember: I am your father, and I'm so very proud of you. 
---
A reluctant, yet ultimately willing, kindergartner ... 
15 comments:
classic Eric - hopefully he reads this when he grows up and will be as proud as baller shooting a 3 pointer on the buzzer.
He already sounds like a true Jedi in the making.
it's great seeing kids start school and all that, but at the same time it's saddening because it marks the beginning of the end of innocence.
the beginning of a regime where we have lessons of punctuality drilled into us, just for starters.
it's the start of real rules as opposed to 'wash your hands before eating' and having to ask 'please may i leave the table?'
but luckily, we can forget all theses rules when we break out into the adult world.
hope your back is okay, man...and by the way, that waffle is burning...smell it?
That was so sweet. My nephew can't get enough to Thoams the Tank Engine, or Star Wars it's crazy. Maybe all little boys are a like like that. :)
Yes, I see. I'm living it. It's not all about our kids going out into Society, it's about us not going with them, left to fend for ourselves.
Hubby loves those waffles for the kids, too! Do you also cut them into strips for dunking into the syrup?
Love the clothes next to the baby picture, with the shells.
School is a bit of the Ministery of Truth, but sometimes breaks into the realm of the Ministry of Love. He'll be alright in the beginning though, just have to make sure to guide him through the rest.
spo - he already whips my ass (literally) in lightsaber duels.
dan - i feel the same way.
krista - i never thought the youngest could be more of a thomas crackhead than his older brother was, but it happened.
kz - hmm ... wish i could say i did. pretty much just handed him a lukewarm waffle with no condiments.
the clothes ... my wife set those out on kindergarten eve. that's his basically his chest of drawers. the baby picture in the background of him melted me juxtaposed with the clothes.
rusty - very true. and we know that the ministry of love is the most fearsome of all. we must remain vigilant and willing to be dissenters for the sake of our children! (i try to make my wife mad with all the big brother allusions to her shady government job as an elementary school teacher).
by the way, he did pretty well. i took some pictures. if one of them's good, i might post it to capture his mood of oh-shitness.
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Aw, that's so cute Eric. I love proud poppa's.
My little guy starts kinder on Sept 6 I know exactly how you feel.
mainiax, if it's anything for you like it was for me ... prepare to swallow your heart.
i'm still coming to terms with the fact that my little guy isn't going to be here in the morning.
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do they have coat pegs with animals and stuff on, so each kid has a coat peg with an animal or something? so they know which one is theirs. not real animals of course, just pictures
just wondered if that kind of thing still happened
Oh my gosh, can it be time for that already?!?
Great recollections.
yes, jay, unfortunately it is. guys and gals, let me just tell you, this morning was very empty. man, i didn't realize how big a deal it would be.
for five years i had this little guy, every morning. now, there's a huge void. this must be a taste of what it's like when your kid goes off to college.
i kind of joked about it, but i can tell you right now that this will make you wish that you never said no to one thing he asked you to do while you had him.
of course, that wouldn't have turned out well, though ... :)
dan, i didn't see those, but those elementary schools still have that ... school smell. i love it. kind of grimy no matter which one you're in. reminds me of childhood and nap mats right away.
*crying in the beer wondering how the world came crashing down turned off*
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thanks, jyny. having children is so rewarding yet so scary.
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He's going to remind his brother of that later.
"Just remember I used to put your shoes and socks on."
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