More Marshmallows ... All The Time!
How do we let them get away with this?
When we were children, we accepted it as a universal truth of the way things just had to be.
If we were going to eat cereal with marshmallows, we were going to have to eat a disproportionate amount of bland fiber along the way. If we could get away with it, we might just filter out all the marshmellows and conveniently disappear the rest of the bag.
Today, in light of "Limited Edition Double Shooting Stars! Lucky Charms," we realize it didn't always have to be this way. We could have had more marshmallows all along (and these extra marshmallows do indeed reset the bar of how Lucky Charms cereal should taste).
But even more egregious is that they plan on reducing the number of marshmallows to previous levels at some point in the future -- unless, of course, "Limited Edition" in cereal terms means just about as much as "Going Out Of Business" does for a bargain beachwear store sale in July.
Why hasn't there been a mass revolt? Three things come to mind: 1.) The kids who eat it are too young to have their voices heard, 2.) The stoners who eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner aren't motivated enough, or 3.) The parents who buy it are just trying to find a way to trick their kids into eating more fiber.
It's curious why market forces haven't dictated that there be a cereal made solely of marshmallows (technically, it might not be cereal then, but then again they make those pixie stix filled with nothing but pure sugar).
It's a mystery why these types of cereals don't have, at the least, more marshmallows than they have putrid -- and now whole grain -- cereal rings.
Yes, we are always after those Lucky Charms ... and we should get them, because this is capitalism, you whiny little leprachaun martyr!
The power is with the people. We must demand more marshmallows for ourselves and our children -- not in limited edition, but all the time.
We have nothing to lose but our chains. We have a world to win. Marshmallow lovers of all countries, unite!
17 comments:
flumps were the greatest marshmallows ever.
mellows with cereal though? this is the one case where i might agree with the bourgoisee. bluuuuuurrrghhhh!!!!
now where's my red socks
God I totally love that cereal and would chace that little bastard leprachaun to the ends of the earth for his secrets.
As a stoner I announce that I am willing to cast off my dressing gown, temporarily let my reefer go out to be picked up later on, find my slippers and then march on the white house with you demanding sugary cereal goodness at a consistently satisfactory level at all times for all of us.
and from the strenght in conviction of Krista's comment I think she is with us aswell.
I've recently eaten the more mundane non-limited edition (although it savilly wasn't marketed that way.... I think they were pushing green clovers really hard). Although I appreciate marshmallows in my cereal and on my grahm crackers, there was a disproportionate amount of gooey tooth-rot to pseudo-fiber. I was nearing insulin shock after one bowl.
I can see why this is a limited edition. They will lose many of their customers to diabetes.
Perhaps they are in cahoots with the Endocrinologist Board?
That said, we used to have a marshmallow factory a few miles from home. They even had factory tours. It was a Phoenix, rebuilt from the ashes of the old marshmallow factory destroyed when a rocket fuel plant blew up and flattened several city blocks (my, I live in such a festive place). They had pictures of the destruction on the walls. I looked forward to taking my future kids to it to watch all that mallow goodness shake through the corn starch and plop into little goody bags free to all those who took the tour. What fun to dream. Then the bastards shut it down before I even got pregnant.
If only the leprechaun sugar-pusher was fixing more addicts then.
i still don't think i could eat that no matter how stoned i was.
Screw the cereal! Just dump a bag of marshmallows into a bowl. One second thought, forget the bowl.
but what about those tasty little charms, shaped like shooting stars and rainbows?
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i'll just stick to bacon, eggs, sausages, tomatoes, baked beans, fried bread, liberty caps, black pudding and some more eggs, and coronary heart disease.
do you spell tomatoes the same way?
You make a compelling point, and if I wasn't so high right now, I might write an angry letter of protest to the damn leprechauns responsible for this. Instead, I'll just go get me a bowl of cereal. Jason pre-picks out the nasty stuff, so it's not so bad.
my boy pre-picks them, too, jay ... for himself. by the time i get to them, it's nothing but bland cereal rings.
maybe i should do this: write a form letter and get each stoner to sign his/her name ... whether it be with letters or symbols or spirally grateful dead suns.
spo, thinking of your gown and slippers evokes images of "pulp fiction" ... "don't bring an o.d.ing bitch to my house! prank caller! prank caller!"
dan, if you do the atkins diet with the meat stuff you mentioned, your cholesterol can actually drop.
kz, insulin assault is what it's all about, you know.
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and speaking of krista's position that she would chase that elf all over the world ... i would definitely not hold out on the trix rabbit.
the opposite of the leprechaun, to me, in cereal terms, is the trix rabbit. i mean, all he wants is a trix fix. those kids can be real tools about the whole sharing thing.
nobody got the liberty cap thing...just as well
Eric on the Pulp fiction thing check ou my 2nd of july post - http://teatastingkanehead.blogspot.com/2005/07/surprise-of-century.html
(I don't know how to actually put proper clickable links in comment posts as I am a doofus)
Dan, the leprechaun would be far too scary after a few 'shrooms.
kz, good point.
I don't think they are really marshmallows. I think they just call them that. I am sure it is just condensed sugar pills. Extra condensed sugar pills shaped into fun things.
i remember taking that, spo, but couldn't remember who i was so i took it again.
lance ... though i like lotsa cream, lotsa sugar.
amber, i think you're right. seriously, what marshmallows are crunchy?
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