Suck It, Santa
You want to know why Santa Claus can suck it?
Other than because he's a gluttonous, sanctimonious, judgmental, materialistic slave driver who gives more to rich kids than poor kids even though he's supposed to give kids stuff because they're good?
Other than the fact that he's our children's first -- and fraudulent and shallow and unreliable -- introduction to faith in a higher power, during a time when parents are trying to teach children the spiritual nature of things only for them to find out it was all a big trick to satisfy their parents' desire to provide for their children as they'd like a higher power to?
Other than another million reasons why?
Here's reason 2008:
"Daddy, can I have a Hannah Montana bicycle for Christmas?"
"Well, sweetie, I lost my job last month and we just can't afford one right now, but I'm going to get you a little something to have under the tree."
"Thanks, Daddy ... but you don't have to worry ... I'll just ask Santa Claus for one."
Anyone who wants to dine on Santa Claus' freshly strewn entrails with me as his fat ass is stuck in the chimney, bring a pair of pliers and a blow torch.
10 comments:
"Other than the fact that he's our children's first -- and fraudulent and shallow and unreliable -- introduction to faith in a higher power, during a time when parents are trying to teach children the spiritual nature of things..."
You may be on to something there. However, I was always skeptical about Santa Claus, and maybe my skeptical nature just carried over to other ideas of higher power.
I've had a few creative writing classes this semester, so I have not really needed littlebitrusty as an outlet. I'm sure I'll be back someday.
you're still in school? it's been like four years we've been doing this.
anyway ... so you used her and abused her and now you don't need her. nice. i think facebook has killed a lot of blogs ... or at least weeded out people who used them to talk about what they were eating.
Hey, Eric -
Crap, man. Sorry about the job. I hate that newspapers are having such a rough time of it, but I hate it even more when folks I care about get hurt because of it all.
As for Santa, I sent you a link to a youtube cut of the "Jolly Boots of Doom" song you once asked me for. It's buried somewhere in the comments of one of your posts.
Wishing you a bit of joy this season.
people are losing their jobs everywhere. what i want to know, is where did all the money go? it doesn't just disappear.
as for santa claus, i'm too squeamish for ripping out his entrails.
Yeah, five year plan. Finally finishing up.
i finished in five years. i actually dropped reporting class one semester b/c i didn't like it ... like i was somehow going to get a journalism degree w/o taking that class.
what you should do is at least write on sentence on your blog. just to bridge it from may.
Sorry E, but I've tried chitlins before and just can't get past the shit smell. I'm thinking the fat guy's probably got some pretty tasty loin and ribs though, so why don't we just roast him whole and have a pulling party? Say, Christmas Eve-ish?
My wife and I can't decide if we want Max to believe in Santa Claus or not...
Sorry about the job. It really sucks out here right now.
Damn. I somehow missed the news about the job. Very sorry for the tough times. I do hope, though, that you're using the time to write the Great American Novel you have in you.
Trey
just wanted everybody to know i didn't lose my job. i was thinking on behalf of people who might face that situation.
but i appreciate that you guys would hate that i lost my job ... :)
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