Thanks But No Thanks
Pressure washing assholes.
Sounds like:
A.) The name of some new emo-punk band covering themselves with tattoos and trying to pass themselves off as punk to a mass of young MTV viewers who don't know any better and think whining about how rich and famous people whining is something worth rebelling against when the irony is that they themselves are famous and whining.
B.) The subject line of one of those spam emails that you can't help but reading if only to enjoy the exotic poetry of random word pairing.
But this refers to neither.
It's about this (click image to read):
This is a very Dr. Phil way of going about things.
"Here's everything that's wrong with you. But don't worry, you're fortunate enough to have the honor of me fixing you."
The funny thing is, we just pressure-washed our home ourselves a few months ago.
I'm thinking about coming up with my own flier and hanging it on Curb Appeal's door:
"Your poor advertising strategy is an obvious sign your dream of owning your own business is going into the crapper. Call B&B Bankruptcy LLC to surrender your dream without losing everything else with it."
10 comments:
So basically they're saying your house looks like a dump and you are lazy bum who won't keep it up. That seems like a bad way to drum up business.
That reminds me of the flyers Hoop and I got when we were trying to sell our house, a bunch of realtor assholes trying to tell us we were overpriced for the market. One even said we were "scaring potential buyers off."
Tink
it's the picture that sticks the final nail in.
I can just imagine the meeting they had when making this flyer:
"The ad looks good, but it seems to be missing something."
"Stink lines from the house?"
"Yep, that's the ticket!"
The picture at the bottom is classic. It just looks like the house is radiating stink. Somehow I don't think a pressure was will take care of a stinky house.
I think if one of those pamphlets were delivered to my house it would read something like:
Why do you work so hard to pay the mortage on that house? Let J&L wrecking crew come in and take care of your worries.
jay ... pretty much. i'm just curious if the lady with the immaculate house across the street got one. if so, she probably commited sepuku.
tink ... don't get me started on that. we had our house appraised to see if we wanted to try buying a new one. these realtors hand pick their appraisers. i couldn't believe what they came back with, particularly with what comparable homes around us were selling for.
dan ... i didn't even notice the picture itself. i was too focused on the words. that's just wrong.
j ... i'll say it again ... just uncalled for.
fa ... that's classic. i should make my own flier, find their business and post it: your business is obviously going into the crapper, call b&b bankruptcy firm to surrender your dream.
e+
also ... what's up with the "no fancy equipment?"
aren't they supposed to be putting off this air eliteness?
e+
Everyone knows, you don't pressure wash a$$holes, you bleach them. It's very Hollywood.
i've heard of that. that sounds like an even better band name.
e+
This reminds me of the lawn service flyers that mysteriously appear on my front door every time I mow the lawn.
I'll admit, though, that I've never gotten one with stink lines coming off of the yard.
It also reminds me of Sears, who thought my kitchen's old wallpaper was so ugly that I should put some vinyl siding in there.
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