R U Diversifying Over Onto Pineapple Hegemony???? ? ??? ??

I don't hate spammers.

Not when I can just drop the hammer with a little click. In any case, I only have to deal with them at work, and, you know, I'm getting paid. This isn't a personal problem, because I'm of the philosophy that you should give out your personal email address the same way you'd give out that picture of your 9th grade mullet (which is why so few email me).

I simply observe and smirk, comfortable in knowing that if any of these damn things screws up my computer ... well, it's not my computer, anyway.

I'll even open up the ones with the subject line: "???????? ??? ? ? ?????? ? ???"

I figure they've really, really, really got a question. Like super-grab-your-elbow-to-hold-up-your-hand-in-class enthusiasm.

I'm no expert, but it appears keywords are crucial to the success of these spammers.

The only other explanation is that someone has a refreshingly insidious sense of humor.

Here's a few of the jewels I've received recently:

***

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in the whole earth the and business in

Ross

***

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***

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***

U still seeking at getting in the gym again

did Pynchon never robber

Hope u r because I saw these guys, [***.org] was
had to flew run backwards, leave even

***

has ur liveliness level been down recently
or still jaded all the time?
I unequivocally am, that is why i am joyous i chanced upon
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day I went frightened hunting with weak the men,
sun Go wind away!"
powder dinosaurs, though
Mindy

***

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dependable sorts, Peak quality.
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0 prescriptoin indispensable.
Hush-hush with No waiting quarters or date requisite
procure in bigness and Save! granting in addition
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properly again. The trail led northwest
door elephant but

***

Adrian just told me that you certainly
discovered about the story on extending out your livelyhood,
Rhea and me have been on this plan,
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that has been assisting me out with that.
was his and litter gamble
"Go north among the touch Galus, and we will not harm you.
calm great crater.
Bertie

Classic, right? It almost has its own form, like a haiku or limerick.

Or something.

If these guys make a lot of money doing this, they deserve it.

Let me try one::

Jeff told me u woud peanuts I found [***.org]
sure into they leaping moped onto
bigger into d e claration o ver from at kalishnikov

Yeah, I'd be buying what I'm selling.

Whether it's nuts, scooters or rifles to slay the infidels, I figure I've got it covered.