Friday, June 23, 2006

R U Diversifying Over Onto Pineapple Hegemony???? ? ??? ??



I don't hate spammers.

Not when I can just drop the hammer with a little click. In any case, I only have to deal with them at work, and, you know, I'm getting paid. This isn't a personal problem, because I'm of the philosophy that you should give out your personal email address the same way you'd give out that picture of your 9th grade mullet (which is why so few email me).

I simply observe and smirk, comfortable in knowing that if any of these damn things screws up my computer ... well, it's not my computer, anyway.

I'll even open up the ones with the subject line: "???????? ??? ? ? ?????? ? ???"

I figure they've really, really, really got a question. Like super-grab-your-elbow-to-hold-up-your-hand-in-class enthusiasm.

I'm no expert, but it appears keywords are crucial to the success of these spammers.

The only other explanation is that someone has a refreshingly insidious sense of humor.

Here's a few of the jewels I've received recently:

***

Been sick of being over weight?
Tired of not being able to squeeze into your clothes? Read up on it at
[***.org]. lights me there's the

in the whole earth the and business in

Ross


***

If your still seeking to save 84 per cnet on ur goods, then come here http://[***.org] wished exactly away to win from windows that receive a lot of sunlight. Too much fame how sunlight at the throughout the day may create an over abundance of

***

I just heard from Clyde and he looks completely different than he looked a couple years ago. He mentioned these guys, [***].org/lq/, He few said a I read all there info and was impressed with everything they said. who words its bleaching has quarterly dividend of the disaster would in

***

U still seeking at getting in the gym again

did Pynchon never robber

Hope u r because I saw these guys, [***.org] was
had to flew run backwards, leave even

***

has ur liveliness level been down recently
or still jaded all the time?
I unequivocally am, that is why i am joyous i chanced upon
***.org/wr/
day I went frightened hunting with weak the men,
sun Go wind away!"
powder dinosaurs, though
Mindy

***

Receive a massive discount on your pills
dependable sorts, Peak quality.
gargantuan mixture, including challenging to find drugs
0 prescriptoin indispensable.
Hush-hush with No waiting quarters or date requisite
procure in bigness and Save! granting in addition
***.org/jr/

properly again. The trail led northwest
door elephant but

***

Adrian just told me that you certainly
discovered about the story on extending out your livelyhood,
Rhea and me have been on this plan,
***org/by/
that has been assisting me out with that.
was his and litter gamble
"Go north among the touch Galus, and we will not harm you.
calm great crater.
Bertie


Classic, right? It almost has its own form, like a haiku or limerick.

Or something.

If these guys make a lot of money doing this, they deserve it.

Let me try one::

Jeff told me u woud peanuts I found [***.org]

sure into they leaping moped onto
bigger into d e claration o ver from at kalishnikov

Yeah, I'd be buying what I'm selling.

Whether it's nuts, scooters or rifles to slay the infidels, I figure I've got it covered.





7 comments:

Tink said...

I'm one of the few who like getting Spam too. I get a kick out of the email subject lines alone:

Grinder Inhabitant
Controversy Foothill
Industrial Mentally
Low Key LSD
Fetal Junction
Expertise Buttress

eric said...

yeah, i've noticed your affinity. it's entertaining when you post those over on your site.

e+

Rusty said...

In an episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Frylock(e?) makes a shrink/enlargement ray. Carl decides to help Frylock, who was shrunken by Shake, if he agrees to make his "tool" bigger.

My favorite line of the episode, "I keep getting these e-mails about natural enhancement and, y'know, it makes me kind of self-conscious."

dan said...

man, have you seen the spam at our old justlanguage blogger location!!!!!!!!

eric said...

that's an interesting concept, rusty. what if we personalized all these? what if there was someone out there who took all these as directed specifically toward them?

dan ... yes, that's unreal. how does that happen?

e+

Spo said...

I just got this one in my inbox:

Hi,

VALIzUM from $ 1,21
AMBIzEN
CIALzIS from $ 3,75
VIAGzRA from $ 3,33

www. gesanais .com

Go on, call away!
So Gandalf gave a long shrill whistle, and presently Thorin and Dori
came round the house by the garden path and stood bowing low before

eric said...

pure beauty, simon.

e+