"I Would Destroy You, Valentine, But I Love You Too Much"
I can really take or leave Valentine's Day.
I suppose I'm able to say that so non-chalantly because my wife has agreed with me that Valentine's Day is a day to screw guys over with flowers for triple the cost and greeting cards that leave it up to someone else to tell a loved one how you feel.
What makes me take it, for the most part, is the kids.
Valentines from kindergartners are exquisitely innocent.
We all remember them. Before the cold sting of isolation when you're a teenager or an adult and everybody but you is receiving some sort of affirmation of love, there's elementary school, when everybody gets a valentine.
Boys proclaim their love for boys. Girls for girls. And you get the feeling they've got it all figured out somehow.
Digging into the bag of valentines my son brought home today reveals to me that we have a tradition worth keeping.
First, from the boys -- beseeching their affection with overwrought machismo. Not only is it funny to think that the valentines boys pick out are sent to girls, but they give them to other boys, too.
Of course, the girls are equally caricatural. In some way, the fact these go to other girls is not nearly as striking as the idea of boys like my boy -- the little man who struggles to wear anything but jerseys and basketball shorts to school -- being referred to as "a fashionable friend."
And there's always the sweet anamoly. Perhaps the most-endearing aspect of Valentine's Day.
The boy who picks out the girly valentine because he likes watching the cartoon.
(As someone who admits to being Wonder Woman for Halloween when I was 5, I can relate).
It's particularly interesting that this one comes from the one friend my son has in school who is considered a kindred spirit, getting in trouble for being too rough on the playground.
I always knew I liked the teacher. Not afraid to throw an insult a 5 year old's way.
And while I'm always partial to "Star Wars" (leave it to C3Po to provide the most-androgynous, non-committal valentine) ...
... this one has to be my favorite.
Smash! I Love You!
14 comments:
My 4 years olds bag came home last night.
A bag filled with bright cheerful art, expressing love and friendship, with stickers and in some cases a little candy.
Everything a kid could want.
The 16 year old had a dinner date, a chance to dress up and play adult exchnaging cards and candy.
As for the adults in our house, we pass on this 'holiday'.
Break it down for us Eric! LOL. Those were great. I miss seeing Vday through a kid's eyes. When my brother was 11 he told us that his girlfriend wanted "jewelry" for Vday. He was promptly told to find another girlfriend. See what you have to look forward to?
Meh. I just have to shell out cash.
When I was younger, I always used to give the valentines with the attached lollipop. Made me pretty popular on that day.
Yeah it was a lot better when you could buy a 20-pack of themed valentines, sign your name, seal the envelopes and pass them out in class, second grade or so.. before love meant too much.. when the colorful designs reflected more on the sender's personality than anything else...
I got jacked by 1800flowers.com a few days ago.. paid too much for roses.. didn't get what I wanted and they didn't deliver on the right day.
However, my wife gave me Napoleon Dynamite boxers.. which have, "Chicks only like guys with great skills" imprinted on them. Which is probably the best Valentine's Day gift I've ever received. :-)
those cards were...fascinating.
thinking back to when i was four or five, most boys found girls repulsive.
kissing was...yukky.
then you get to 13 or 14 and things change.
valentine's day becomes a thing with status attached to it: who got the most cards? there was always some poor soul who never got one because they were a nerd or a freak *cough*
i don't like valentine's at all. it's like you only have one day a year to tell somebody you love them. what if you die a couple of days before? somebody might be wondering if you loved them and if you'd have sent a card.
I LOVE the nerd one!! The best Valentine's I got was a strawberry shortcake one that said "You're the sweetest, be mine!" from one of my best girl friends.
I hate the depression that comes with this day, everyday is marketable, maybe just push that aside and show your love in your own way... or, you know, maybe everyday?
The kid is CUTE!
john ... sixteen. that has to be the most high stakes age for valentine's day. looks like she's on the right side of it this year.
tink, i don't want any of my children to age past age 5. my kindergartner, though, is only a month or so away from 6. scary ... because that's the way i'm able to see it through kids' eyes.
rusty, personally i liked the nerd one because it had a box of nerds attached to it. candy is key to being a favorite valentine. i wouldn't know about that, though.
andy ... it's so nice to see my old college buddy! it's about time you said something. so you've graduated to sweet boxers? i feel personally responsible for that, in a way.
too bad on the roses. my wife and i agree about roses, but then she told me about a first-grader who gave her a carnation. i said, "cool, let HIM waste his money."
she said, "heyyyy." and then, "carnations don't cost that much money."
somehow i think she's not totally onboard. ;)
dan, i must say i was one of the few who thought having a girlfriend or two in k-5 was just fine. i was pretty suave in kindergarten. it was all downhill from there.
krista, that's my boy. i think all the comic book valentines made him want to go put on his spider-man halloween outfit. that's the cookie i gave him.
the whole damn day is just about the question of how much trouble a guy is going to get into with his missus - gifts, cards, booking restaurants, keep the stress levels to the minimum.
I had perfect excuse being hospitalised and on the other side of the world.
Radio on the way back from the hospital had a restaurant owner on - he was talking about how it was the tensest day of the year inside his place - all these last minute phone calls begging for a booking - all these stressed out guys turning up for the meals looking like the whole day had got them beat now they were at the finishing line.
Every time the announced another traffic jam update I was thinking "there's another 100 guys stuck in traffic, trying to get home, get changed, get out buy the flowers card and choclates and find a restaurant that's available - and they thought they had two hours for all this - now it's just become one due to traffic and their whole relationship is now in the balance..."
simon, the ironic thing about it is that if a woman understood that her husband was just doing what he thought he had to do, it might not seem so appealing and necessary.
i find it a greater act of closeness that you both agree not to be manipulated by expectation.
funny observation about the traffic.
also funny is the scene of guys in grocery stores buying roses, wearing their work suits. a silent understanding.
this sounds bad, but ... my wife called me and asked me if we had any TGI Fridays frozen chicken wings in the freezer.
i told her i'd pick some up. so here i am in publix with a king-size box of frozen chicken wings, a six pack of Mike's Hard Lemonade and a little thing of valentine's cookies.
i bet the cashier thought, "what an insensitive prick."
(my wife loves mike's).
e+
I gave out SpongeBob valentines this year. Nothing says you have to let go of the best parts, no matter how old you get.
i agree wholeheartedly ... which is why i enjoying buying lightsabers even at age 32.
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I love that Hulk one, that is awesome. My son picked out all the "girl" Valentines and said I could have them. How nice, he gives me his discarded Valentines. Not even the ones with the heart shaped lollipops attached to them, either. He kept all those, girly or not.
typical guy.
don't you just love it? a man after my own heart.
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Hubby and I haven't exchanged Valentine's gifts since.... ever,I think. I think I gave him one the first year we shared a Valentine's Day, I never got anything in return, and that pretty much ended it.
Flowers ARE expensive, but only on that day. I don't like getting flowers on V-day because it's such a ripoff. Buy some carnations the day before or the next day, week, or month would be much appreciated. That is, I say that, but I do look wistfully at flowers on co-workers' desks on February 14th. Sigh. Still, waste of money. Yah. Put it in the college fund.
V-day is so fun with the kids, though! N made her own valentines, which expresses her creative personality completely.
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