"Different Thoughts Make The World Go 'Round"

Working for a large media korporation that spans the globe has its advantages.

Like, incredibly detached and laughably manipulative corporate propaganda.

It's in the elevator. In the stairwell. In the weight room. Hanging over the pisser.

Or so they say.

The most delicious propaganda is the kind that compels you to stare at it wondering, "How, by all that's holy, did they ever think this would convince anyone to do anything?"




This is an effort to protect the korporation from computer thingamajigs that gum up the works and shave half a cent off the stock dividend at the end of the month. Viruses, they might be called. Or porn sites. Whatever.

Put aside the numbing acknowledgement that someone is getting paid some sweet coin to come up with this stuff, and ask yourself this question: Does this look like a guy who works at a computer in a corporate environment?

And if so, would he be sitting at a computer wearing a wife-beater, showing off his incredibly contrasty and unimaginative ink as he handled highly sensitive information?

What exactly are they trying to say to us? That we should "select a good password?"

Or, are they saying we can ditch our ties and grow contrived 5 o'clock shadows accentuated with earrings?

("Quality control my ass, bitch! Don't you see these guns?!").

Here is another piece, ripped off the wall two years ago by a high-strung guy who sometimes is more high-strung than is normal, a guy who enjoys "collecting" korporate propaganda and sometimes answering, with a Sharpie, the questions posed and posting on the shitter stall door the new version with more answers than they ever knew could exist:

This one has an answer:




The backpacks symbolize the load we all must carry to meet the bottom line.

The water is the various and sundry challenges we face.

The rocks are the policies we are so fortunate to have as our guides across the turbulent waters. Korporate scripture.

The trees represent the plant we keep on our desks because flourescent overhead lamps are our only symbol of sustenance.

The tie represents the noose they will hang us by if we slip into the water.

Or maybe it doesn't mean anything.

That's the best strategy. Nothing means anything unless it's supposed to mean something.

Shortly after the larceny of this exquisite piece of propanganda, the thief shows it to the front-door receptionist unfortunate enough to be attending the phones that particular hour.

"See this?"

"Mmm, hmm."

"'Development is not optional. It is a necessity.' They're saying 'evolve or die, and we're going to dress you in business suits to make walking on the rocks more difficult.' Isn't this ... evil?"

"Ummm ... ahhhh ... well ... different thoughts make the world go 'round, I guess."

A deft piece of diplomacy: "Holy shit, this guy's crazy. How do I keep him from shooting me when he brings the 12-gauge to work, yet at the same time not betray my corporate acquiescence?"

She has successfully negotiated the raging rapids.

She has evolved.

She will not die.