The Game Plan
Asa, Zach, Andrew and that tall freak of a kid, #2, at the four Forward positions because they've got the skillz to pay the billz.
Sarah Beth (#5? Yeah, #5. The other girl is Sophie) at Midfielder, because even though she's the tiniest, she's not afraid to mix it up. The heart of lion, she's got.
One of the space cadets at Sweeper, because we've got to put them somewhere and Kelvin is a capable Goalie who can pick up the slack for the second-to-last line of defense as the Sweeper picks the dandelions.
Andrew moves back to Sweeper when we've got a lead, then to Goalie in the final minutes.
He's the most aggressive, and he's our best chance to preserve a lead. He plays the entire game because he's a hustler and his mother is the super-organized Team Mom who's got our snacks and game times in order and reserves a dining room at the pizza joint a month ahead to make sure we have a bomb-ass season-ending party.
Please, someone -- anyone -- say it's OK that your 5-year-old says, "Daddy, did you see me score that goal? I told them, 'That ball's lunch, and I'm hungry!'"
Please, someone -- anyone -- affirm that he's not irreparably damaged.
His father has just become the coach of a YMCA pre-school soccer team for the remainder of the season -- beginning in the morning -- because Coach Curlee has been deployed to a base in Texas.
And, yes, Daddy wants to win.
The YMCA Tigers are undefeated.
3-0.
No team has yet to score on the Tigers' stifling D, and relentless offensive pressure has pushed the victory margin onward and upward ... 1-0, 3-0, 4-0. 
Two games left.
The last missive of Coach Curlee (who is a semi-pro soccer player) before shipping out: "I think we can sweep this thing."
This bail bondsman and Army reservist understands. A man of vision. Rare in pre-school sports these days.
By his own admission, a tear came to his eye when his son, for the first time in three seasons, scored his first goal. Coach Curlee understands in a way that few do.
He lays out the strategy as he hands over the baton.
Let them play loose. No drills through cones.
He demands #11 stays in, because the coach's son is a sparkplug whose motor never stops. Don't take him out just because you're worried the parents will get jealous and think you leave him in just because he's your boy.
Sarah Beth is a sweet little beast. Kelvin is fearless. Andrew is versatile.
OK, Coach. Got it.
But, then, comes the catch.
The kids have to have fun.
OK. Yeah. Have to put that in the game plan.
These kids are so emotionally scarred for life.
____________
The Best Laid Plans ...
The Pirates pillaged. The Pirates plundered. The Pirates beat the Tigers 5-1.
The coach must take all responsibility ... but he must also point out that only seven Tigers showed up for this Saturday rain-out make-up.
The Tigers were outmanned, eight players to seven. The Tigers -- all seven of them -- played the entire game as the Pirates rotated in among 13 players. Counting the spaciest of the space cadets deciding to really space out today -- manning the field no more than 1/3 of the game -- the match-up was in reality 8 on 6.
The coach is accountable for allowing this discrepancy. Coach Pirate told Coach Tiger before the game that, for whatever reason, he was given an unusual number of players this spring and that he had been playing eight so the little guys didn't have to sit out too much.
Coach Tiger said kids playing was more important (damnit!). And somewhere deep down, Coach Tiger wanted to see what his little boys (and girl) were made of.
And that something is something special.
The Tigers fought valiantly, scratching and clawing against a seemingly never-ending swarm of bucanneers. Coach Tiger's son scored on a throw-in that was never kicked, but the Pirates ruled the day.
The Tigers were tired. The Tigers wanted their Mommies. Their Mommies told them to get back in the game because there was no one else to take their place.
The Tigers wanted Coach Tiger to hug them. He did.
Toward the end of the game, Coach Tiger rallied his dejected comrades into a circle. He tightened the circle. Looking into their eyes at the sheer "when-will-it-endness?" of it all, Coach Tiger rallied the troops for one more push.
"OK, guys. You've fought hard. We're outnumbered. I'm proud of you and you should be proud of yourselves. Who here wants to score a goal?"
Hands go up.
"I do."
"I do, too."
Coach Tiger is filled with pride. He holds up the soccer ball.
"OK, then, guys. You see this ball? This ball is lunch, and you guys ... you guys are hungry! So, are you hungry? Are you ready to eat?!"
The circle rumbles with a collective cachophony of growling preschoolers.
They were hungry.
For any eye that saw, the waning minutes were a flurry of feral feline passion.
The Tigers didn't score that goal.
But they were hungry.
And they ate.
Like champions.
29 comments:
I'm no shrink but I think sport is great for kids. And you can't go through life without a little scarring, emotionally or physically. Take a look at this page for really screwed up soccer players. i.e. fighting their own team mates.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/tyne/content/articles/2005/04/02/bowyer_dyer_fight_have_your_say_feature.shtml
It's strange how they have soccer in the US, yet we don't have much American football in Europe. There's a league in the UK, but it's not big enough to get televised and very few schools teach it in Physical Education.
On the bright side,we do get after match violence.
BTW Eric, congratulations on your good news. I'm buying a lotto ticket today.
Uh, that thing that you said to your kid, probably went way over him. It sure went way over me.
And the way I remember soccer at that age it was completely without organization. Everyone just chased the ball endlessly. Interesting that you have real strategy...
Maybe that's why we never won.
Watching kids play sports is cute if you have super-human patience. When I was a kid, soccer consisted mainly of picking dandelions on a much bigger field.
you're link didn't work, dan, but if you're talking about the freaking flares thrown on the field and the empty stadium they had to play to for the next two or so games ... i saw that.
you guys are nuts over there.
my wife saw those clips and said "and they think football is brutal?"
i told her, "no, they think we're a bunch of pussies for wearing helmets."
the thing about playing american football is that it's so involved with equipment and all.
with futbol, you can just kick around a ball and set carve a little space that it shouldn't go through.
like basketball. all you need's a goal. you can play against yourself.
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db, i don't know how to explain it (well, i guess i kind of do in my little update there), but to lighten the mood with something like that in a dejected huddle ...
... and to hear the sound of seven little preschoolers literally growling ...
... and then going out in a blaze of glory ...
... i think they got it.
i was so proud of them.
jay, i worried whether i had the patience. i couldn't imagine how satisfying it was to be the coach and model for these kids. i only hope i did them justice.
and, yes, it is incredibly disorganized, but you'd be surprised at how much they listen to. :)
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dan, one more thing (not to dominate the comments aspect of my journal thingy here) ...
you talk about emotional scarring.
today, my son played his soccer game at 9 a.m. then played baseball at 11 a.m. that happened because the soccer game was a rain-out (this kid has an amazing amount of energy; after all was done with both sports, he ran the bases, on his own, TWICE, just for shits and giggles).
anyway, the rangers of baseball were incredibly talented ... and old. their coach remarked that most of them were headed up to the next level next year.
these coaches were complete jackasses. WAAAAY to competitive.
my wife and sister-in-law were ticked and worried for our kids.
i can't speak for the rest of them, but as for my kid i think it was a valuable lesson.
the world is not an easy place, and you've just got to accept it and the only thing you can control is how hard YOU try.
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Kida playing sports is awesome, and as an almost psychologist, it's great for their health and self esteem. Losing (though it sounds odd) is a GOOD thing. It teaches them that life isn't fair, but if they try, things can be accomplished.
Also, the story made me laugh... and God knows i need that right now.
Go Tigers!
Shame the link didn't work. It was about some other violent soccer match.
You're right about the only thing you can control is how hard you try.
BTW Eric, "no, they think we're a bunch of pussies for wearing helmets," just about sums it up ;-)
thanks, aimee. i was hoping it might come across as kind of humorous, because that's what i was shooting for.
and you're right ... i enjoyed that loss as much as any of the wins where we trounced people. just to watch them try SO hard. i love those kids.
hope it helped your day a little.
dan, like i said, you guys are psychos about that FOOS-bawl.
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That post makes me miss the childhood I didn't have.
Keep it up man, your posts always bring a smile to my face.
what's up, jake? ...
... you lazy bastard.
hey, man, if you ever have children -- especially a boy(s) -- a lot of that stuff will just melt away.
trust me. you get a chance to make it all OK. and it feels great. you probably know a little about that with that little toddler you draw faces on bottles for.
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When I played soccer at age 5 I was turning cartwheels and picking flowers. Needless to say, I didn't stick with it. Great commentary on the games though.
thanks, cindy-lou.
so i guessyou would have been one of my space cadets. they're great. they usually provide the most comic relief ... which is really the beauty of preschool sports.
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Eric- we will not miss the game on thursday. at that age the kids just want to play and know that they are acknowledged for trying their best. winning is icing on the cake. can't wait to see coach tiger in action.
Cari
Man Utd. stuffed Newcastle in the cup on Saturday, and then again in the league on Sunday.
But that probably doesn't mean anything to anybody here ;-)
thanks, cari. hopefully we'll have enough tigers to go out on a winning note. well ... either way we'll go out on a winning note.
coach eric won't have it any other way!
dan, ok ... so a man named Utd. stuffed some newcastle beer into a cup and then again in a league?
is that british for keg? ;)
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back at you, helen.
hey, do you know what glove asa is using to field ALL the balls hit his way?
he's grown out of his, so he's using that one you gave aden before he was born, which is a little bigger. he's breaking it in for him.
this is one time when wearing something your big brother wore is PREFERRED.
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Wow man, thats some deep analysis.
They ate like champions, but was it the BREAKFAST of champions? More like dinner maybe? Lunch...
Not many people eat too much for lunch. Dinner is where it is at.
i think it had to be breakfast, because it was a 9:30 a.m. affair. and if it's a breakfast of champions ... it HAD to be big.
or, you could call it brunch ... but that's kind of anti-climactic.
(damn, getting lazy. time to write something else ...)
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Eric, I'm just about pissing myself laughing right now. I'm equally confused by our language differences.
I suggest you start your own Word of the Week and Great Expressions posts to educate stupid idiots from the north of England about your language and culture.
Translation:
Manchester United beat Newcastle United in the Football Association cup (Brit soccer equivalent of Superbowl football only not as much fun - unless you like fighting in the pub afterwards - though running away is just as much fun)
A keg's a keg.
thanks for visiting, ali. i have to say it's probably one of the most rewarding things i've done in awhile. just to watch them respond and feel confident in themselves ...
so, dan, northern england ... you're a yankee, then? we don't like them here 'round these here parts.
wish the tigers luck tomorrow, guys, in their season finale! they appreciate all your support. i'd have them read the inspiring words from all their fans but, alas, they have yet to learn to read.
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They look so cute...um, in a champion kind of way...in their uniforms. It's awesome that you are coaching. woohoo! And who thought a kids' soccer game could be such an exciting read. Maybe you should be a sports writer.
actually, amber, i've done a little of that. though, much like everything else i've done, not in the conventional sense.
conventional sports writing can be soooo boring.
this is more my style ... http://writerinthewry.blogspot.com/2004/03/saturday-night-fervor.html
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Space cadet, I like that.
Wow kids soccer sounds ALOT like high school soccer. Everybdoy chases after the ball even the goalie. Although theres one major diffrences and thats theres always one big show off on every team that knows even less about the game than everyone else. He kicks the ball off the field,onto the track,over the fence,then goes to get it and just throws it in with his hands into the goal and argues its legal in some stupidly twisted way and the other kid goes "You threw it in the back of the goal!"
Just had to look Yankee up in the dictionary. I'm ill educated you know.
It is Ok for you to say "this is the ball, this ball is food, are you Hungry!?" this is entusiastic motivation.
It is when you are saying "use the space cadet as a human shield" that you need to be worried.
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