Saturday, February 26, 2005

Kids, This Is A Fist: Revisited


It's Christ night, and beer isn't being sold on the one side of the Grrrowl (yes, that's three r's) arena where church groups have bought blocks of tickets in anticipation of the Christian concert to follow (you know, meta songs solely about worship as if heaven will be an eternity of bowing down to God and thinking of yourself as a piece of crap).
They say it's because of supply and demand. The beer just won't sell. Yet, the beer stands are closed at the main entrance, where the most people walk by. It's more a case of a franchise that glorifies violence marketing itself as something it really is not.
To hell with the heathens ... at least as long as they're corralled out of view on the other side where ticket-holders are of the general, ne'er-do-well, frothing-at-the-mouth, hockey fan sort.
So, yet again we have a delicious dissonance that makes minor league hockey far more interesting (ie. peeling the label off your Budweiser so that a church group wondering why you're sitting in the premium seats they had reserved don't notice your devil's brew and demand an usher check your tickets).
Yes, once again, and true to the exquisite purity of hockey, guys out on the ice don't like each other. And they agree to punch each other in the face.
These are what are known among the outraged and the aghast as "teachable moments."
"See that guy shattering that guy's nose, Tina?"
"Yeah."
"He needs to be saved. Maybe he'll stay for the concert and it'll make a dent."
The concert.
Instead of beer, Christian rock band gear is being sold en masse. Marketing Jesus as a cultural clique to belong to. Why can't we just be Christians and drink a beer?
Why must we make crucifixes out of twisty balloons?
Yes, crucifixes out of twisty balloons ...





No photoshopping has been done to embellish the sheer creepiness of this (thanks to my designated driver for having the camera phone handy).

Is this where "The Passion of the Christ" has brought us? A crucified Jesus as a mascot?

Don't castigate the twisty balloon guy. A man's got to stand out amongst the pack in some shape or form to do business with what is an overly organized and conspicuous Christian fraternity.

Business sense or no, nothing changes this absolute fact: Jesus and his horrible suffering and beautiful, yielding, world-changing sacrifice is being used to sell balloons.

Perhaps it's not too out of place. Things are kind of graphically violent here anyway.

But this is hockey.

Some things must be allowed to remain in their sacred place. If you're going to marginalize what much of the world considers, at the most, the savior of mankind, and, at the least, one of the greatest men to walk the Earth ... don't persecute the frosty brew, too.

Well, at least the beer line is short.

4 comments:

Aimee said...

I'm appauled, but not amazed, at the balloon crucifix. Christianity continues to make my headache at how we take Christ and mold him into our own image. I'm a christian and all, but the body of christ angers me- and i can't help but wonder how many tears God has cried over his people.

eric said...

i suppose it's human nature to mold divinity to our desires. of course, it's flawed. one of the big things i think jesus was telling is to let go and let god. sort of the opposite of the prevailing mindset these days.

in carrying my weblog to a new address, this post lost a great piece of insight from jake.

basically, that the balloon symbolizes a lot of people's faith: easy to pop and often twisted.

e+

Anonymous said...

Christianity won no converts that night. The club's too exclusive. If you dig beer on a Friday night, if you don't get your grrrroove on with Kontemporary Kristian music, if you don't swoon at the inner pain that must have inspired the twisty Jesus art ... you're probably glad you're not on the guest list.

Spo said...

hockey and christainity don't seem easy bed fellows.

I tuned into the comment "Why can't we just be Christians and drink a beer?" - all that twisty balloon (amazing - needed the photo to show its twisted glory) tshirt shilling jesus foam hand hawking nonsense - playing on peoples misguided belief to show ultimate faith you've got to fill the pockets of anything with gods name attached.

Gods doing fine - he's pretty flush - pray in your own way and sink a beer....